do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
