hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
