Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm passing your future prison.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
