I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
