is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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