elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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