That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize