I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
