Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
