we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
