the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
