I got chris browned last night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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