Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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