I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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