Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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