He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize