Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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