Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
