if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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