i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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