i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
