I am spending my child support on dildos
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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