hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
