i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
