your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
