I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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