I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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