I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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