Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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