glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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