I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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