So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
