Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
