loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Semen is not good for contacts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
