take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
