Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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