It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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