i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
