It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
