Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize