literally had 100 drinks last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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