Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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