Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
