I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
