jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
