Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
