i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Those nachos came to me in a dream
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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