It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
