awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize