I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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