I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's the barista slut.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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