Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the day after is always just damage control
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
