First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
