Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
