TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
