i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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