butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
